We are all 'experts'.

I have often said how great the support is that I get from people who read this blog and follow my facebook page. I great fantastic support from friends and family also. But just lately I have been getting a few comments that rub me the wrong way.

I have been told a couple of time lately not to take things too seriously. And that I put too much pressure on myself. I really don't think this is the case at all. Do I get disappointed when I gain weight? Of course I do. Who wouldn't. Do I avoid going out and having a good time? No I don't. Do I watch what I eat and drink when I go out? Of course I do.

It's the 18yrs of NOT caring about what I eat and drink that got me into this situation. At the start of the year I made a commitment to myself that in 2013 my health and fitness were going to come first. This isn't something that can be done half hearted. Trust me I have tried that before and clearly it doesn't work.

I am tired of people telling me that I still need to have fun and 'live'. I know this! And I am trying to work my way through it. But I can't just eat & drink what I like. This weekend is the perfect example. I played 5 games of hockey in 3 days and I made reasonable food choices. Definitely better choices then I would have made in the past. I did drink and go out. I did eat a few things I shouldn't have. And I gained 800grams. I know that it could have been soo much worse. I am not beating myself up about it. I am learning from it and moving on.

One of the things that annoys me the most is when I get constant 'advice' from people who are either overweight or have never been overweight themselves. I have someone in my life who constantly tells me what I 'should' be doing. What I 'should' be eating. I have lost 18kgs in 6 months. I am going to keep doing what I am doing because clearly it is working!

I am also getting a lot of people ask me what my goal weight is. So to put it out there it is 70kg. This would put me in the healthy BMI range. I also go on clothes size and would like to be a comfortable size 12. A lot of people tell me this isn't possible. More so when I tell them the weight I want to be. Why not??? Why can't I be as slim and as healthy as others?? It just takes commitment and support. I am committed and I have amazing support. It is just disappointing when the support doesn't come from the people you thought it would.

Rant over. I am geared up for a great week. I am starting to get organised for my half marathon at the end of September. I am running from our farm into town 21km to raise money for the local golf & tennis clubs to buy a defibrillator.

Like I said at the beginning of this post I love the support I get from everyone on my blog and facebook page. You are all what has made me get as far as I have. I honestly think that I would have given up by now had it not been for your support and well wishes.

How do you handle people who like to give 'advice' or knock you down??

Size 15 - Don't mind if I do!

I am home recovering from a great weekend in Perth for country week hockey. It was a great weekend which involved my favourite things hockey, Catching up with old friends, making new friends & of course socialising with a drink or 6 2. There is one major rule about country week and that rule is 'What happens at country week stays at country week'. So I can't go into too much detail about the weekend. But lets just say that you know it was a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday morning with pretty much no voice.

As I was getting ready to go on Thursday I was going through my clothes and had a reality check of exactly how much weight I have lost. I was wearing a long sleeve black top and was trying to find a t shirt to wear over the top. I tried on some tops I haven't worn for a few months and they were like tents!! They were huge!!!!

I had a spare few hours on Friday afternoon so my wonderful little brother took me shopping. He is a great shopping partner as he is very honest and will tell me if something looks great or not. I was very excited to go into shops I have not dared go in before. But the biggest excitement came when I went into Jeanswest to get some new jeans. the lovely sales lady helped me work out which jeans were the best cut and sent me into the change rooms with lots of options. I have never really bought jeans from anywhere other then Target or Kmart before so it was nice to have lots of different options.

So I went in and started trying them on. I put on a size 16 and I thought they fit great. I was doing a little WOOHOO in the change room. When I came out to show Rob and ask what he thought the sales lady pulled at them and told me she thought I should go down a size and "Did I mind trying on a size 15?" Seriously?? Is there anyone on the planet who would say no to going down a size???? So I tried the 15's and they were perfect!!! I will admit there is a bit of a muffin top happening but I am ok with that for now. And I am happy to say there were no thoughts of dodgy security guards laughing at me on security cameras.  They are the most comfortable jeans I have worn for ages and I am not pulling them up every 5 minutes.

I finished our little trip to the shops with 2 pairs of jeans, several tops and one dress. Some of the tops I probably could have bought a size smaller. I am still trying to get used to not having to buy XXL or XL. And I do keep forgetting that I am smaller on top then on bottom.

I was also very proud of my food choices on the weekend. I didn't eat between meals and I chose healthy options as much as I could. I had things like ham & salad sandwiches for lunch, grilled chicken & vegies for tea. The worst I had was pork belly. It is something I have always wanted to try and I loved it. I did cut out as much of the fat as I could.

All in all I had a fantastic weekend away, Huge thanks to my fantastic hubby who stayed home with the kids and even let me sleep in a little this morning. Back to reality and my first game of netball in about 12 months tonight. Hopefully my sore muscles hold up.

Half Way There

What a great week it has been in the 'Becoming Nikki' world! New attitude and perspective seems to be working. I have been trying to see the positives in things and not sweat the small stuff.

I even managed a 6km run last night. It took me 40 minutes but it was 40 minutes of non stop jogging. I was so excited and hyped up when I got home hubby was wondering if I really went for a  run or if I had gone off and done something else. Maybe I should go in the mornings from now on.

It's hard to believe that only a few months ago I would struggle to run a 600m lap of the oval.I also can't believe that I am actually enjoying running! Definitely not something I ever thought I would say. I haven't been running as much as I would like lately but a little bit every now and then along with hockey training seems to be working. Although that is changing.

It is only 3 months until my 21km half marathon run to raise money for the local golf & tennis clubs to buy a defibrillator. So I need to pull my finger out and get into some serious training. Last nights run was just on the farm down a track. I kept telling myself I would run to the next tree and it was the next fence post or corner. Then I realised that I had to turn around and ran all the way back home. I downloaded 101 running songs from itunes. It has some great songs on there but they aren't sung by the original artist. Some of the songs are great and you don't notice it's not the original. But others are like nails down a blackboard!!!

Onto my weigh in results.................... 1.8kg removed this week!!! Which brings my total loss to 18.4kg. Also I have just hit HALF WAY!!! WOOHOO!!!

I am off to country week hockey tomorrow afternoon. This means 2 games of hockey Friday & Saturday and one on Sunday. It also means a weekend away with adults and possibly a drink or 6. I am going to try not to over indulge this weekend. I really don't want to undo my hard work. I need to learn to enjoy weekends like this without going overboard.

So here are the stats
Weekly loss 1.8kg
Round 2 loss 3.7kg
Total loss 18.4kg
1.6kg till next bottle of Moet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a difference 12 hours can make to your mindset.

What a difference a day makes. I have spent the last few days stewing over an incident which has kind of been brewing for a little while and finally hit it's peak over the weekend. I have had tears, sleepless hours at night, a few phone calls to annoy others with my problems etc etc. It is not a huge thing but just something that I couldn't seem to move past.

I had decided on Monday that I was just going to suck it up and move on without addressing it. 'Get Over It Nikki' is what I was telling myself. But then again last night I couldn't help but think about it and it was always in the back of my head. So this morning I spoke to another friend about about it and she was great. She put things in perspective and helped me come up with a solution.

All day I thought about it as I couldn't do anything about it until tonight. So tonight I addressed the problem, put across my point of view and it was really well received. We had a really good chat and I feel 100% better about things. Why didn't I do that on Monday???

Lesson learnt - you don't know how someone is going to react until you actually talk to them. And don't let something like this take over my whole life!!!

My weigh in this morning didn't help my mood much at all! I added 300grams which took me to 90kg exactly. I wasn't happy about my weight starting with a 9 again. I had plans to get out into the garden today but that went down the window and I pretty much did nothing except make some biscuits for the kids lunch boxes. I even ate 4 or 5 of them.

So dummy spit over moving on and I am into the garden tomorrow. I would normally be going to golf but Bugalugs has a cold so I better keep her home. I got some galvanized garden beds for my birthday to make into some veggie gardens. I am keen to get them up and running. Also 3/4 of our yard is bare except for some old mulch and weeds. So tomorrow I will get the weeds pulled out and garden beds in place. Might even take some before & after pics.

So here are this weeks stats
Weekly gain 300grams
Round 2 removal 1.9kg (not too happy with that)
Total removal 16.6kg
3.4kg to next bottle of Moet!!!

And more importantly mind set is back on track!!!!

I LOVE birthdays especially MINE!

As anyone who knows me really well will tell you. I love birthdays. More specifically I love MY birthday. I always have and hope I always will. As I have got older and had kids I have started to love their birthdays almost as much. Love seeing their faces when they get their presents and blow out their candles. I love to make them feel special so that by the time they turn 33 they will still love their birthday as much as I do.

Usually having a birthday at the beginning of June means that hubby is still seeding and although my birthday is the same day every year, usually there is a card that has my present written in it & hubby works well into the night leaving me to celebrate with the kids. Well this year my birthday fell on a Sunday and about 2 weeks after seeding had finished. No excuses! And he did very well. He even went into Bras & Things and bought a voucher. (a much needed gift)

We went to lunch at a small pub in beautiful New Norcia about an hour away. We invited a few friends and some family. It was a great relaxing day. Hubby took on the kids duty for the day so I could just sit back and relax whilst enjoying a glass or 6 of bubbles.

Friends & Family

Enjoying my day with my beautiful kids

I had the best birthday I have had in years and I have to thank my wonderful hubby for making the day great and relaxing for me. I was very spoilt and I think everyone deserves at least one day a year that is their day. Not about you as a wife, mother, daughter or sister but just about YOU!

Change rooms and the mystery security guards!!

You know when you are losing weight and you start to get excited about finally shopping in the normal section. Maybe even trying on clothes from the next size down as the jeans you are wearing can be pulled on and off without being undone. Or you wear them without a belt and find yourself A. feeling like you crap your pants all day and B. pulling them up all day getting annoyed that you forgot to put on a belt.

Well this is were I am at at the moment. So while we were in Perth yesterday I told hubby I wanted to try on a pair of size 16 jeans. Just to see how far off I was from buying something the next size down. Target is my point of reference for clothes. As sizes vary so much from shop to shop I am working off this as my 'normal' sizing. I also needed new sports bras. The ones I have were baggy and not doing much when I was standing still so I would hate to think what it looked like when I was actually running! So in the interest of everyone who watches our hockey and the girls at training new bras were definitely in need.

As is always the way you can never find the size you need when you need it. I could find size 20, 18 & 14 jeans everywhere but no size 16's. More then once I found a 16 hanger only to find a pair of 8's hanging off it. And I definitely didn't need to try to try them on to know there was no way they were going to fit! Finally I found a pair and headed to the change rooms via the the bra section of course. I used to be a size 18DD so I took in a size 16D and 16C.

Only problem when you have to try on bras and jeans is that you can end up standing there almost naked. So it was bras first. Everytime I go into a dressing room I wonder if I am being watched. Surely there is someone watching somewhere to stop those naughty shop lifters. Anyway back to the bras. I tried on the 16D first and I got a true indication of just how much cleavage I have lost. There was plenty of room in there! So onto the 16C it fit perfectly. No idea when I was last a C cup!!!

I put my clothes back on and moved onto trying on the jeans. As I put my foot through the first leg they felt really tight at the ankle. I had a look at the tag and realised the were SKINNY JEANS!!! Seriously???? How did I not check that before I tried to squeeze into them. I think I just excited about finally finding a pair in the right size. Rather then get dressed and go out and change them I thought I would give it a go. As I was pulling them up the thought of security people watching flashed through my mind. I could see them sitting there laughing think "Come  on woman do you really think THAT is going to fit" and 'Tell her she's dreamin'". I almost started laughing when I looked in the mirror as I was trying to squeeze into the jeans. I could just see myself on Ellen in one of her dodgy segments.

But I triumphed! I got them on and got the zip done up!! I felt like poking my tongue out to my mystery security guards. There was a LOT of muffin top going on and I definitely would not wear them out in public. But I got them on and done up. I was so excited I took some pics. After the 3rd pic trying to get the right angle I realised that everyone would be able to hear my phone taking photo's in the change room and that probably wasn't a good thing.Especially when you have taken bras into the change room. So since I embarrassed myself enough taking the photo's I thought I might as well share them with you. I wouldn't wear them in public but I will share them with the cyberworld! Trust me it makes sense in my head.

size 16 BABY!!!

So onto this weeks weigh in results. I have made a re commitment to get back on track. No more letting my weekend undo all my hard work and spend Monday/ Tuesday playing catch up.

Weekly removal 700grams
round 2 removal 2.2kg
total removal 16.9kg
total to be removed before next bottle of Moet 3.1kg!!!!