Things I NEVER heard my Mum say or do and why I am so glad.

I have thought about writing this post for a while but a conversation with my kids last night made me think it was time to write it.

My Mum was a beautiful size 10 with a lovely figure until she finished having her children. There are 5 of us and she was still slim whilst she had us but after she had my brother she slowly started gaining weight. I never took a lot of notice except that sometimes I heard other kids laugh and occasionally make comments. Sometimes as happens with every kid I would be embarrassed by her but I think that is just part in parcel of being a kid.

She was a size 16 to 18 for most of my life. While that is not HUGE to a kid it can seem that way. But you know the one thing I NEVER heard from her was that she was fat. I NEVER heard her say that she didn't like her body. I NEVER remember her trying on 10 outfits before we went somewhere because nothing fit or she didn't like the way she looked. I NEVER saw her stand on a set of scales. It NEVER stopped her from doing anything! (She was and still is the first one to get into her bathers and head to the beach.)

I LOVE that I NEVER experienced her doing any of those things. I LOVE that if she was struggling with it she NEVER let it show to us kids. I LOVE that she would defend me when my Gran called me fat even though I was 12yrs old and a size 10.

As an adult of course we have had various discussion about weightloss. She has lost just over 10kg this year and is now between a size 20 -18. She struggles with exercise as she has scoliosis. So she has back pain when she walks. But she is getting there and I am so proud of her.

Also as she points out none of us were overweight when we lived with her. It wasn't until we either left home or went away to school that any of us started putting on weight. She always provided healthy meals and there was never any 'crap' food in the house. Mostly because with lots of kids it would never last long so they couldn't really afford it.

I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to my amazing mum for not letting any body issues she was having pass on to us girls. I can honestly say that none of my insecurities or body issues came from her. I have become a lot more aware of the words I use and how I act around my kids especially my lovely little 5yr old girl. I want her to grow up loving her body not matter what shape or size it is. But I also want all of them to know about how important healthy choices and exercise are.

Also I don't want them to be teased for something that is completely out of their control. I don't want my choices and decisions to be something that they are teased or embarrassed by. I am sure I will do lots of embarrassing things in their life but I don't want my weight to be one of those things. Especially when I have to power to do something about it.

This was us back at Easter celebrating losing 21kg between us. 

When I grow up...................

When I was in Primary School I always thought I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. But then as I became a teenager I realised that I didn't really like kids that much. To the point where I told my mum I was never having kids because they were a waste of money! This was as my parents were forking out thousands to send me to Canada as an exchange student. Then I thought that I wanted to be something like a youth psychologist or youth worker. Someone to help teenagers.

Only problem was I hate study! I went to school to socialise not to learn. I guess I never had a strong enough passion for anything to make me want to study. When I got back from Canada I went to Tafe for 12months to study Travel & Tourism. However I discovered I wanted to travel not work in travel!!

I had various jobs before I became a mum. They were all just jobs. Nothing I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Last year I started doing my Certificate III in Fitness. It was the very beginning of my change. However I was doing it via correspondence through YMCA and a third of the way through the course they pulled the plug. I really enjoyed it but I also realised it was far more indepth then I thought it would be and far more time consuming then I had time for.

The good thing to come out of it is..............................I have finally realised what I have a passion for. With everything I have gone through this year my passion has grown. So as far fetch as it may seem at this point in time when Amelia starts school I would love to study to be either a Dietician or Nutritionist. At the moment it is just a dream and idea I have no idea how to put it into place. But I am excited to find out.

I can finally say I know what I want to be when I grow up!! Although I hope I don't have to actually grow up too much.

Non Scale Victories

As much as the numbers on the scales need to come down it is nice to have some non scales victories too. I am noticing a few things lately as the weather is getting warmer and I am starting to wear different clothes.

I have never been a big fan of summer. I would much rather winter where I can cover myself in layers upon layers. I was never a huge dress or skirt fan as I would chafe! Every now and then I would think it would be ok and go to Perth for the day in a dress or skirt. I would always end up having to buy a pair of shorts or pants (normally before lunch time) because my thighs would be red raw. A few weeks ago I wore a dress to Perth for the day and NO chafing!! Woohoo!! Not saying it won't ever happen but it is nice to know that it's something that will now rarely happen instead of always happen.

Where the belt used to sit....Where it sits now!!!

I have to wear my wedding rings on my middle finger as they are too loose for my ring finger. I will get them sized once I have reached and maintained my goal weight. 

Being able to actually run & enjoy it. 

And of course almost feeling comfortable in bathers. I will spare you anymore bikini photo's But it is nice to actually want to go swimming with the kids!!! 

No Weigh In Until Christmas Eve............Can I do it???????

Seems that setting monthly goals doesn't really work all that well. Considering this month my goal was to be under 80kg and I am at 84.9! And I have tried the monthly squat & ab challenges. But not really EVER been successfully at any of it. 

So after last weeks dummy spit and various conversations including one tonight with one of my sisters. I am thinking of doing something pretty major and drastic!!! 

NO WEIGH IN UNTIL CHRISTMAS EVE. 

This may possibly kill me and it would mean having to remove the scales from my house. As I have confessed before I am a compulsive weigher. 

I guess I have nothing to lose. But I am worried as I have always used the scales to pull me back into line. 

I will make the decision in a few days. Just need to fully prepare myself. 

I mean what will I do every morning after I pee?!?! Or every night after my shower?!?! Or other random times through out the day?!?!

I am thinking of maybe doing a photo Monday. Since it is the silly season and we seem to have a function of some description every weekend. I will post a pic of me every Monday wearing my weekend outfit. So still staying accountable just in a different way. 

Something like this from Friday when I went to a Christmas Craft Fair. 

Oh and I have picked Christmas Eve as Christmas morning I will be FAR too busy opening presents and sipping champagne to worry about standing on the scales!!!!!!