Things I NEVER heard my Mum say or do and why I am so glad.

I have thought about writing this post for a while but a conversation with my kids last night made me think it was time to write it.

My Mum was a beautiful size 10 with a lovely figure until she finished having her children. There are 5 of us and she was still slim whilst she had us but after she had my brother she slowly started gaining weight. I never took a lot of notice except that sometimes I heard other kids laugh and occasionally make comments. Sometimes as happens with every kid I would be embarrassed by her but I think that is just part in parcel of being a kid.

She was a size 16 to 18 for most of my life. While that is not HUGE to a kid it can seem that way. But you know the one thing I NEVER heard from her was that she was fat. I NEVER heard her say that she didn't like her body. I NEVER remember her trying on 10 outfits before we went somewhere because nothing fit or she didn't like the way she looked. I NEVER saw her stand on a set of scales. It NEVER stopped her from doing anything! (She was and still is the first one to get into her bathers and head to the beach.)

I LOVE that I NEVER experienced her doing any of those things. I LOVE that if she was struggling with it she NEVER let it show to us kids. I LOVE that she would defend me when my Gran called me fat even though I was 12yrs old and a size 10.

As an adult of course we have had various discussion about weightloss. She has lost just over 10kg this year and is now between a size 20 -18. She struggles with exercise as she has scoliosis. So she has back pain when she walks. But she is getting there and I am so proud of her.

Also as she points out none of us were overweight when we lived with her. It wasn't until we either left home or went away to school that any of us started putting on weight. She always provided healthy meals and there was never any 'crap' food in the house. Mostly because with lots of kids it would never last long so they couldn't really afford it.

I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to my amazing mum for not letting any body issues she was having pass on to us girls. I can honestly say that none of my insecurities or body issues came from her. I have become a lot more aware of the words I use and how I act around my kids especially my lovely little 5yr old girl. I want her to grow up loving her body not matter what shape or size it is. But I also want all of them to know about how important healthy choices and exercise are.

Also I don't want them to be teased for something that is completely out of their control. I don't want my choices and decisions to be something that they are teased or embarrassed by. I am sure I will do lots of embarrassing things in their life but I don't want my weight to be one of those things. Especially when I have to power to do something about it.

This was us back at Easter celebrating losing 21kg between us. 

When I grow up...................

When I was in Primary School I always thought I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. But then as I became a teenager I realised that I didn't really like kids that much. To the point where I told my mum I was never having kids because they were a waste of money! This was as my parents were forking out thousands to send me to Canada as an exchange student. Then I thought that I wanted to be something like a youth psychologist or youth worker. Someone to help teenagers.

Only problem was I hate study! I went to school to socialise not to learn. I guess I never had a strong enough passion for anything to make me want to study. When I got back from Canada I went to Tafe for 12months to study Travel & Tourism. However I discovered I wanted to travel not work in travel!!

I had various jobs before I became a mum. They were all just jobs. Nothing I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Last year I started doing my Certificate III in Fitness. It was the very beginning of my change. However I was doing it via correspondence through YMCA and a third of the way through the course they pulled the plug. I really enjoyed it but I also realised it was far more indepth then I thought it would be and far more time consuming then I had time for.

The good thing to come out of it is..............................I have finally realised what I have a passion for. With everything I have gone through this year my passion has grown. So as far fetch as it may seem at this point in time when Amelia starts school I would love to study to be either a Dietician or Nutritionist. At the moment it is just a dream and idea I have no idea how to put it into place. But I am excited to find out.

I can finally say I know what I want to be when I grow up!! Although I hope I don't have to actually grow up too much.

Non Scale Victories

As much as the numbers on the scales need to come down it is nice to have some non scales victories too. I am noticing a few things lately as the weather is getting warmer and I am starting to wear different clothes.

I have never been a big fan of summer. I would much rather winter where I can cover myself in layers upon layers. I was never a huge dress or skirt fan as I would chafe! Every now and then I would think it would be ok and go to Perth for the day in a dress or skirt. I would always end up having to buy a pair of shorts or pants (normally before lunch time) because my thighs would be red raw. A few weeks ago I wore a dress to Perth for the day and NO chafing!! Woohoo!! Not saying it won't ever happen but it is nice to know that it's something that will now rarely happen instead of always happen.

Where the belt used to sit....Where it sits now!!!

I have to wear my wedding rings on my middle finger as they are too loose for my ring finger. I will get them sized once I have reached and maintained my goal weight. 

Being able to actually run & enjoy it. 

And of course almost feeling comfortable in bathers. I will spare you anymore bikini photo's But it is nice to actually want to go swimming with the kids!!! 

No Weigh In Until Christmas Eve............Can I do it???????

Seems that setting monthly goals doesn't really work all that well. Considering this month my goal was to be under 80kg and I am at 84.9! And I have tried the monthly squat & ab challenges. But not really EVER been successfully at any of it. 

So after last weeks dummy spit and various conversations including one tonight with one of my sisters. I am thinking of doing something pretty major and drastic!!! 

NO WEIGH IN UNTIL CHRISTMAS EVE. 

This may possibly kill me and it would mean having to remove the scales from my house. As I have confessed before I am a compulsive weigher. 

I guess I have nothing to lose. But I am worried as I have always used the scales to pull me back into line. 

I will make the decision in a few days. Just need to fully prepare myself. 

I mean what will I do every morning after I pee?!?! Or every night after my shower?!?! Or other random times through out the day?!?!

I am thinking of maybe doing a photo Monday. Since it is the silly season and we seem to have a function of some description every weekend. I will post a pic of me every Monday wearing my weekend outfit. So still staying accountable just in a different way. 

Something like this from Friday when I went to a Christmas Craft Fair. 

Oh and I have picked Christmas Eve as Christmas morning I will be FAR too busy opening presents and sipping champagne to worry about standing on the scales!!!!!!

I've fallen and I can't get up.

HELP!! 

I've fallen and I can't get up!!! 

Not sure what movie this is from but it is exactly how I am feeling at the moment. I feel like I am treading water but slowly running out of energy. 

I am really struggling with everything Nutrition, Exercise, Housework, Mothering, Wifey Duties etc etc etc. I feel very lost and all I want to do is lock myself away with a mountain of chocolate, a good book and say "Screw IT"!!!!! 

I spend Mondays and Tuesdays eating everything in sight and eating because I am bored. Then I spend the rest of the week being cross with myself and trying (rather unsuccessfully) to undo all the damage I have done in those few days. It is a vicious cycle. 

I'm really not sure what, when. why or how it has happened. But what I am trying to work out is how do I get out of it and how do I move on???? My days are blurring into one. I have been very lazy, tired, grumpy, lethargic etc etc. All the things that come with poor diet choices and no exercise. 

I am thinking that maybe fore the rest of this year rather then focusing on weight loss as it is completely doing my head in and making me feel like crap!! I will focus on maintenance and start again with the weight loss in the new year.  

I really don't know what to do or how to pull myself up. 

Maybe I should print this off and put it ALL over the house!!!! 

A whole new level of shame.

Those who know me, know that there are absolutely no traces of O.C.D in my personality. I have confessed before to not being a 'Domestic Goddess' (just for the record I HATE that phrase.) I always have a clean pile of washing on my 2 seater couch that needs folding, you would never want to eat off my floor, (3 second rule should be 1 second in my house) and my laundry basket is never empty. But then I don't know that many families ever have empty laundry baskets.

One of the things I love about living 20km out of town is that people don't just pop in unannounced. 9 times out of 10 people at least call first or give you a day or 2 notice. We do get the occasional friends who call in on their way somewhere which we love but most of the time we are in our own little world. So honestly my whole house is NEVER tidy let alone clean all at the same time. Usually the kitchen and dining room are OK but the bedrooms are a mess. And don't even get me started on the kids toy room.

Well yesterday the state of my house brought a whole new level of shame. When I got home from playgroup I discovered that the power points in my kitchen weren't working properly. I went through and eliminated all the usual triggers it was nothing to do with my appliances. So what would not NORMAL people do?? Call hubby and try and get it sorted. Our house comes with his job so if there is an issue it usually involves his boss coming to the house to try and sort it out. Which usually is great however I looked at the state of my house.....................it was a disaster!!!! The WHOLE house. Especially the kitchen and dining room. For the record the bathroom was sparkling clean!

So I put off making the call until I had at least cleaned those areas. Even scrubbed the stove top which was WAY overdue. Which meant it was about 4pm when I finally made the call and they came to check it out. Turns out there was something wrong over at the transformer and no one needed to come into the house. Western power had to come out and it was all fixed by about 8pm. Now had I been more organised and had a reasonably clean house this would have all been sorted by probably about 4pm and the poor Western Power guys wouldn't have been working in the dark.

Lesson learnt.......Get off my butt and clean the house. So that is today's plan. Mop the kitchen floor, Vacuum the rest of the house, Fold the mountain of washing and clean my bedroom which I need to do before I vacuum as you can't actually even see the carpet.

I won't say that it won't get to that state again but hopefully not for a while!! Sometimes you get stuck in a rut and need something to give you a good kick up the behind.

So I am off to put my workout clothes on, crank up the tunes and get this house sparkling!!!! Wish me luck!!!!!!!

Make changes not excuses.

There are lots of reasons excuses for why I can't exercise at the moment. The main one is that hubby is working long hours so I would have to get up super early I'm talking 5am. And as much as I am a morning person that is just crazy.

So yesterday I got up planning to do a workout DVD. But I really wanted to go outside. So I jumped on the treadmill on the verandah. After 15 minutes I realised that it really isn't for me. I don't know what it was but I was not enjoying it AT ALL. So I went and ran around the sheds. It's just over 200m. It was around 7am so I couldn't exactly leave the kids at home and go for a 5km run. As much as I wanted to. This way they could see me from the house and come and get me if need be. I ran and walked laps for about 25 minutes

Up around the shed then back around the tree. 

It got me thinking and planning. I came up with a bit of a circuit which I could do without going to far from the house. I did the exercises on the back lawn and ran the laps around the shed.
walk a lap
run a lap
15 squats
lap
15 sit ups
lap
15 running lunges & 15 jumping lunges (so each leg got 15)
lap
10 burpees (almost KILLED me)
lap
Plank 35sec
lap

Repeat
In the last round I changed the burpees for step ups. (15 each leg)

Here's how the morning went....... Got up at 6:30am and got the kids their breakfast. I made their lunches whilst they were eating and then I headed out to exercise. I told them what I was doing and where I would be. I asked them to get dressed while I was gone. Usually them getting dressed involves lots of 'MUM I can't find my skirt" "MUM I only have 1 sock" "Hurry up" "Turn off the TV and get dressed". OK so the last couple are usually me yelling but you get the idea.

I think this morning was the quickest and easiest morning we have had EVER!! OK maybe not ever but for a very long time. I had to take a couple of breaks to do up shoe laces and tie hair up. But they 'found' all their clothes, socks & shoes themselves. Lochie joined me for a running lap, then Molly joined me and they both joined me for the last lap.

The best part is that it was all done and dusted by 7:30 including the kids being ready for school. And I still got a great sweaty workout outside without leaving  the kids or getting up crazy early.

WORKOUT DONE!!

I had the best morning and proved to myself that I can fit in a great work out when the kids are around. I know that it won't always run that smoothly but we are off to a great start!!!!!