I'm back blogging, I just had a bit of a look and I haven't blogged since August last year and even then I think I only blogged about 4 or 5 times all year. Lots has happened since then
We won our hockey premiership
Hubby and I went to Canada
I have 2 new Nephews
We became Odd Parents to one of them
I'm studying to become a Personal Trainer
And I have put back on ALL the weight that I worked so hard to lose. It has slowly happened over the last 12 months. A couple of kg here and there have all added up. I have to say it feels HORRIBLE!!!!
I must admit before I lost the weight I hadn't been smaller since I was a teenager so I was used to my fat and lived in a little bubble of not really realising how big I was. But now knowing how good I can look and more importantly feel I look at myself now and just feel shit. There's no other word for it. It's a horrible feeling. And it SHOULD be enough of a motivation to get my act together.
Well you would think so wouldn't you??? The truth is I will be good for a few days or a week and then BAM a couple of days not watching what I eat and no exercise and 2kg added to the scales. I set myself goals, realistic, achievable, goals and I almost reach them then BAM motivation is out the window.
Now I am at a real loss as to how to get back into the swing of things. I have my brothers wedding at the end of the year and that is my long term goal. I would love to look amazing for that. I already have a dress that I bought for a wedding last year but didn't fit into. It's a size 14 and beautiful.
But before that I really need to get my head back into the right place. That is my main struggle at the moment. I am loving my personal training course and I know that no one wants a fat PT but even that doesn't seem to stop me from going to the fridge or sitting on the couch instead of exercising. I set myself a goal of being 97kg by the end of march. Pfft I was going well got down to 100.3kg but then old habits crept back in AGAIN!!!!
Whilst I realise the number on the scales are not the be all and end all. It's not just about the numbers it's about the clothes that don't fit, the red marks on your tummy from tight jeans, the bras that leave back fat and are so tight you can't wait to get them off, not being able to bend over comfortably to tie up your shoe laces, not being able to run more then 3km, a sore back, no strength, not keeping up at hockey training, I could go on & on.
I'm not going to make any huge bold statements on here and set all these goals that I may or may not reach. What I will do is promise to keep the blogging up. The good, the bad & the ugly. The first ugly bit I will share is what the scales said this morning.